THE SEXIFICATION OF SENIORS

The coolest thing about being an older woman is that the sexual cravings don’t dry up, orgasms are ok and there are pleasures to be found.

But, that’s not what we’re taught growing up. I’m beginning to understand that the North American adult is about as royally screwed up as they can be when it comes to sex.

Either we are overly promiscuous or as rigid as barnboards when it comes to understanding and enjoying the pleasures that our bodies can give us. You know, the girl that gives out, the guy that’s a player, or the frigid woman and the uptight man. Which are you? Are you any? Or are you one of the lucky ones that have found an even keel when it comes to your sexuality?

I realize now, that I was very conservative in my thoughts on the subject. Luckily for me, I’ve met someone in later life who I can openly discuss physical relationships with.

We met under similar terms, both having been divorced after an almost identical amount of time with our spouses deciding that they had chosen a different life path and that we weren’t included. As difficult as that was, being left opened the door for us to meet under circumstances that never would have happened otherwise.

I was past my child-bearing years, so the threat of pregnancy was erased. We felt comfortable with our knowledge that the other hadn’t led a promiscuous life, was free of those dreaded diseases, and understood some of the moments where we had felt pleasure.

In one of our first sexual encounters, I remember asking where in the world he had learned some of his talents. You see I felt he was far more advanced than I was in knowing how to give pleasure. I think that he was a bit embarrassed, but he actually told me that he had been taught by a former lover. Well, right from the mouth of babes, I said…..”God, you should thank that person!”

Shortly after that, they met for coffee and he actually thanked her! Boy, I wish I had been a fly on the wall at that encounter!

But it was true. He had awakened something in me that I didn’t know existed…the orgasm. The rolling waves of absolute, mind-blowing pleasure that fairly made me feel as though I was glowing. The rapture of lying there afterward catching my breath while my nerves tingled in places I didn’t realize that I could even feel them.

We talked after that night. Talked and talked and talked. We still talk. We talk about what feels good. We talk about what doesn’t feel good. We even talk about knowing what we don’t know!

After a few years of getting to really know each other, we understood that there really was much that we didn’t know. I had gone through graduate school very quickly, with no time for the sex, drugs, and rock, and roll usually associated with going to University. He on the other hand had been there, done that, and thought that I should experience some of what I missed growing up.

Now, this is where being a more mature adult comes into play. We prepare more; we are a bit more careful when taking risks and thinking things through. I couldn’t get pregnant; we were now comfortable with each other and kind of knew what each other enjoyed.

We decided to introduce me to the pleasures found in recreational drugs. Where to start? What to use, and even more important who to go to for safe drugs?

I knew someone, my adult grandson, who I knew was a user of some recreational “lifestyle additives”. I think that he was a bit shocked at first, but as he warmed up to the subject, he took us to task. He wanted to ensure that whatever might happen, it had to be good. We needed to be in a place where we felt safe and secure. He insisted that we have fresh fruit to nibble, water to drink, and enough rest beforehand, what seemed at first to be a lot of rules to follow.

When I took my new-found education back to my partner, he was in total agreement. I learned that whatever mood you’re in will intensify while under the influence, and that we should plan this first trip as carefully as any vacation being planned. And so we did. Let me tell you – my first excursion taken on the Acid Train was totally mind-blowing. No one who has ever had a trip like that would knowingly want to return to normality if it wasn’t for the sheer exhaustion we felt after 12 or more hours of orgasmic enjoyment of each other’s bodies!

Here is where I want to be candid. Have you ever felt like a prude? Like you didn’t understand what those other people were talking about? I was one of those people. I think there are both men and women who feel that way. No, I stand corrected. I know there are both men and women who feel that way. In future blogs, I’ll come back to this subject time and time again.

Let’s have a discussion on what we can do about it. Can the discovery happen without the artificial pleasure of drugs? Can we trust someone enough to let go and just let ourselves explore? I’d really like to know everyone’s thoughts.

The one caveat that I know and understand every time I think about this is, this is one of the changes within my lifestyle that allows me to know…..

I’m Wonderful, Why Not?